Goliath and David Dad and I

Published on 24 February 2024 at 12:45

This Narrative Poem came to life a Year after my father's death.  

 

My father's death a rebirth for me.  A bit cruel my thoughts yelled.

Not at all, I replied.

His death loosened the generational curses he carried. 

Giving room for the warrior Queen in me to fully take her position.

The position she was given at Birth and trained for throughout her life.

All part of God's plan 

 

Through the fire, I would go 

Of smoke, I won't smell

My first battle

To survive death

Days after birth

My earthly protector turned into my Goliath 

As he attempted against my life 

Gasping for air I found myself

Instinctively fighting to live

Fear felt rather than safety

No recollection I have

Years went by with damage done

Distance placed between father and daughter

Unconditional acceptance and love never felt

From the man chosen to be my father

 

Mother and I

A conversation we would have

An Explanation she gave

Help me understand she tried

An emotional moment

As she relived the day 

God used her to save my life

And a curse began

A generational one the worst of all

 

 

My mother saved me from physical death 

My father placed me in a subconscious

Fight or flight position

To survive my mission

 

 

Anger I felt

Towards him

Disgust with her

For choosing this man

Day after Day 

I saw her choose him

After the beatings, I suffered

The curses he spit my way

Tearing my self-esteem 

How could she allow such disrespect

Her reasons she had 

None I understood

 

 

All part of God's Plan 

 

A dark journey followed my life

Trust nowhere to be found

Safety only I could provide

A heart overflowing with pain

Gray days my normal 

Anger my favorite attire

Worthless Unloved my mantra became

An emotional life

Lived in self-sabotage

Never knowing the whys of my choices

No time for exploring 

To live the objective

Emotionally unavailable 

A subconscious action

Much comfort it gave

Sustained me 

Kept me moving

Pain fueled my strength 

To love a weakness 

Slow me down it will

To conquer my focus

On my own, I found my way

Although never alone 

I came to realize

Jesus’ a constant presence

In my life

Leaned into him for comfort

A start to a beautiful relationship

Love, Mercy, and Grace he provided

Purpose my life attained

Wisdom from the pain I gained

 

Dad my Goliath  

The vessel used to create me

 

All part of God's plan

 

To Love My Father

Much prayer required

 

His end of days now near

Chosen for this moment

Face-to-face with my Goliath

Walk away or tear down the Curse

My choice alone

 

Into the suffering, I went

Alone I was not

Trust in my heavenly father

My weaknesses made strong in him

His love within me

Deep-rooted roots of Love, trust, faith, and hope

I now had

 

As my Goliath laid at my feet

Forgiveness he sought

Mercy, Grace, and Love I gave

On his last days

A generational curse I slayed

 

My rebirth began

My long-suffering 

Perseverance 

Patience

Not in vain 

 

All part of God's Plan

 

His plan to prosper not to harm

Preparing me for a purpose 

Beyond my sight 

Transmutation taking place

Adversity turned into healing

Anger into love

Sadness into joy

Pain into wisdom

Shackles destroyed

From Victim to Survivor

From Surviving to Living

 

A Spiritual Warrior Queen I became

 All part of God's Plan

 

Check out the video in You tube, where I am reciting the poem at a conference.  

 You will also find the video translated into Spanish. 

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Comments

Ricardo P. Silva
10 months ago

great job Tania !!!!!