This narrative poem has a different spin from my usual uploads. I Love the words given to me because they are the most realistic words I have written thus far. I have a story to tell, full of trauma, stuff I didn't ask for, and things I did. Because of it, I have persevered, grown resilient, and built my character. Shining light on the darkness we own is a way to remember we have won the battle.
I wrote these words in 2023 as I was emerging from the darkest period of my life. Embracing the darkness is Embracing the parts of me that have existed and those parts lingering in my subconscious.
The perception others create of me
Not a Problem of mine
Judging out of their knowing
Often times misunderstanding realness
I won't say I’m the realist
For we all Fall short
Most people don't know how to take a real one like me
I'm not one to sugar coat and if I do,
perhaps
I just don't give a fuck
Only the closest
To me
understand
Let me break it down
Understand this
Those in my circle have done
something allowing me to put my trust in them and vice versa
They are just like me
We know better than to give our trust away
The only problem is when we do give this thing called trust
We some loyal Mother Fuckers
Getting blinded by our loyalty
Giving more than we should
Too often caught being loyal to those plotting on us
I like a mother fucker who doesn't trust me at first.
Put me to the test maybe I'll fail
maybe I won't
better test me first.
Ha
I'm not for everybody
Hate me or love me
I don't give a fuck
The truth is you need people like me
Life is a game
you may win today
Know this
I never stay Got
If I don't get you
life will
Karma is a friend of mine
She always repays better
An Artist of punishment
Understand this
I'm about my life not concerned about yours
Why so defensive, we only want the best for you
I Heard that before
I'm not one to categorize
I know they're some real ones out there
The ones I try to seek out.
I know what may be real to me is not real to you
I Come from a dark place full of Fallen angels
Most of you don't even know what it's like sleeping with the roaches, evictions you can't control, sleeping in the "Rola"
in the quiet streets with the big houses
Dreaming you get to live there one day
Running from yourself
transforming into the character you need to be
Allowing you to get as far as possible from the you
you knew you could become
but, had no desire to be
Survival instincts
On overdrive
The darkness shun in my heart for years
blinding me with anger, resentment, bitterness only to name a few
Overpower me
Oh
they tried
In the battle for my life, I became stronger
The dim light within me
illuminating the darkness
Blinding it out of My heart
Can’t say out of my subconscious
That's a place it remains
Reminding me of battles won and lost, the lessons provided
The wisdom I Gained
The student in me
Studied the darkness
Much it had to teach
Achieving an excellence
I can be proud of
I know you heard the I
As in Me, myself, and I
Your level of expectations or lack of for my life has zero effect on who I am
I'm my worst critic
highly doubt you can surpass me
Wouldn't say you get a fake me
Real to an extent never giving up my vulnerable side or
The demons I wrestle with
for they are mine
A bit possessive
I protect what I consider mine
If you Take me for granted
don't expect me to stick around
I'm a ride a die chick just need to know what the fuck I'm riding and dying for.
Part of life is getting burnt sometimes from the closest to you
I have no problem walking away
Tucking the pain away darkening a piece of my heart
Not for long
The darkness has become a friend of mine
By, now you should know
I'm forever winning even when I lose
I turn negatives into positives
Even when the math doesn’t add up
Obstacles are just a chance for me to level up
My steps are controlled by faith, not by the limited sight of my vision or yours
I face life, not run from it
I go to battles with the demons living in me
I may not win them all
I know when to retreat
Why fight battles only to lose the war
The war against my life
to live or die
T
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